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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25532053">What if... (Secrets are dug in the best friends' back yard?)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TiggerUsername/pseuds/TiggerUsername'>TiggerUsername</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>What if... (Jiara July) [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Outer Banks (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Backstory, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Jiara July, Kiara's Kook Year (Outer Banks), Kooks (Outer Banks), Pogues (Outer Banks), Pre-Canon, Requited Love, Romance, Secret Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 08:33:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,504</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25532053</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TiggerUsername/pseuds/TiggerUsername</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>What if JJ and Kiara have been keeping a massive secret from the Pogues? What if JJ and Kiara were a lot closer than anyone had expected during Kiara's Kook year? </p>
<p>It all happens during Kiara's Kook year when she has no one. She has thrown away the Pogues. And now, Karma is back to take Kiara away from the Kooks. When Kiara has no one, just the sight of a familiar blond hair Pogue may help her through her dark days whilst keeping it a secret from everyone around her. </p>
<p>Part of Jiara July Week 2020 (Prompt: Pre-Canon).</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>JJ &amp; Kiara (Outer Banks), JJ/Kiara (Outer Banks)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>What if... (Jiara July) [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1849996</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>72</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Jiara July Jubilee</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>What if... (Secrets are dug in the best friends' back yard?)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I have decided to take part in the Jiara week and the first prompt for the week is pre-canon. Now, this one-shot was actually planned to be a whole book but when I saw that it was a prompt, I decided to write it all as one.</p>
<p>I hope you enjoy this first chapter.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She is so stupid. Kiara Carrera. The girl that dumped her best friends for a group of fucking Kooks that don't even care about her. She is so stupid that she ever thought she could fit into a group of Kooks when she doesn't even know how to dress or talk like them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kiara Carrera- the girl that leaves everyone that truly cares for her just because the Queen of the Kooks herself invites her to join the cool gang. Sure, for the first couple of months, Kiara felt like she could learn to fit in. With Sarah Cameron by her side, nothing could go wrong. Kiara remembers her mom being overjoyed that her only daughter had finally found friends that weren't out to get arrested every other day.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But, even from the beginning, Kiara knew she was being stupid thinking that the Kooks would ever just let her into their world.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was spring of her Kook year when everything turned for the worst. She had invited Sarah around for a sleepover because it was Sarah's birthday that week. Sarah said that she would come. But she never showed up. Then a couple of days later, Kiara looked down at her phone to see snapchat after snapchat of all the cool Kooks at Sarah's house drinking, laughing and celebrating. All of the people that Kiara thought she had won over were all in one room with <em>her. </em>Sarah Cameron. Her supposed best friend. It hit Kiara hard.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Everyone had been invited but her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>So, just like any sane girl, Kiara called the cops on their illegal fucking party. Kiara remembers feeling great that she did it. She had single-handedly taken down the Queen of the Kooks' party. The Kooks party that kiara had been left out of.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But then the rumours started.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kiara Carrera- the girl that called the cops.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kiara Carrera- the weird Pogue, dressing like a Kook.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kiara Carrera- the girl that is obsessed with Sarah Cameron.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kiara Carrera- the girl that doesn't belong here.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And she felt it. Kiara didn't belong there. So, for the next few months, Kiara has been keeping to herself whilst begging her parents to let her go back to the school where she isn't a laughing stock. The school where she feels safe and protected by the Pogues. Her parents turn her away every time she asks, telling her 'you can't just pack up and leave in the middle of the year' and 'we have worked really hard for you to get into that school, don't ruin it now, Kiara.'</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The rumours don't stop though. Kiara tries to sneak down the hallways of the school every morning, hoping that today will be the day where the rumours stop and that she can just go back to being the quiet nobody, lost in the waves that is Kook school.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But the rumours keep coming.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It's Sarah Cameron's fault. If that girl just invited Kiara to her party then nothing would have happened, the rumours would have never started. Kiara is sure that it must be Sarah that started the rumours. She did the invite list to her party; Sarah must have spotted that she included every name in the year other than Kiara's name. Kiara should have just listened to her trustworthy Pogues about how Kooks mean danger. Sarah Cameron is danger.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>An idea crashes into Kiara's head one night- an idea that she cannot shake. She had overheard at school that the Camerons are throwing a massive wager to celebrate the beginning of spring. Another party that Kiara is not invited to. Kiara's idea revolves around going to the party when she knows she doesn't belong just to make Sarah see that she doesn't control everyone. Kiara Carrera will not be controlled by a fucking Kook.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Thankfully, the party is in full swing by the time that Kiara arrives. Even though she wants to rub it in Sarah’s face, she doesn’t want to raise suspicion from all the other annoying Kooks. Looking around, Kiara finds herself confused that she doesn’t recognise anyone from school. Maybe it is because everyone is already completely drunk and Kiara hasn’t seen this side from any of them before.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She keeps walking through the party with only one thing on her mind- find and take down the Queen of the Kooks.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But Sarah is still nowhere to be seen. Kiara does catch eye with her brother though. Rafe Cameron is completely out of it, messing around with a couple of obviously high girls around lines of cocaine. “Predictable.” Kiara mutters to herself before making her way further into the party. High schoolers are shamelessly grinding on one another as if they have no care in the world. They’re like animals, but thick. Animals that don’t realise that anyone can look into their cage to see them. It just further sets the understanding that Kiara hates it here. Kiara hates that she ever even wanted to be a part of their fun.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kiara finds herself at the drinks table, still trying to find her old best friend. Sarah is still missing from the loud, indecent party. It’s then that another body stands close to Kiara, invading her privacy. “Kiara Carrera at my party?” Rafe snorts out. Of course, it’s Rafe’s party not Sarah’s.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Stupid, stupid, stupid.</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>Kiara takes a deep sigh before turning and grabbing a bottle of beer from the side. “Wow, my girl likes to party.” Rafe jokes, making Kiara cringe with disgust.</p>
<p>“I didn’t know it was your party, Rafe.”</p>
<p>“So, the rumours are true.” It makes Kiara turn to face Rafe, confused. “You really are obsessed with my sister.”</p>
<p>“Stop listening to the rumours.” It’s all Kiara can manage out. That rumour hurt Kiara the most. Kiara though Sarah was her friend. Her only friend in the crowd of stuck-up asses. For Sarah to tell everyone that she thought Kiara was obsessed with her just proved to Kiara that you can never be friends with a Kook when, deep down, you’re still a Pogue.</p>
<p>“You know, I’m a lot more fun than Sarah. I won’t mind if you become obsessed with me.” She can feel his eyes looking her up and down, the smirk very evident with his face.</p>
<p>“Not even in your dreams, Rafe.”</p>
<p>“Oh, you’re always in my dreams Kiara.” Kiara focuses on the beer in her hands, trying to not evoke Rafe in any way.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>There are rumours about Rafe as well. Rumours that he uses girls and makes them feel special but if any of them try to run away, he turns on them. Kiara doesn’t want that trouble. Not today.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She can feel his hand as it moves to stroke up her arm, she holds back from hitting him there and then. She doesn’t want any more rumours on her name. “Come on, Kie.” It’s then that Kiara can’t stand anymore and she turns to him, red with anger. Kie. The only people that call her ‘Kie’ is the Pogues. She won’t let some arrogant, rich boy pretend to be anything like them.</p>
<p>“Go to hell, Rafe.” Kiara pretty much spits before trying to move away. But his hands tighten on her arm.</p>
<p>“I thought you wanted this. You wanted to be a Kook, right?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>No. Kiara never wanted to be a Kook. She wants to fit in no matter where she is. She struggles in his grip which only makes him tighten his hold. Laughter erupts the small area of the room in which they are standing in. It’s his laughter at her distress. It makes her understand that the rumours about Rafe are true. He could do anything and still laugh them off as if they never even happened.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Rafe!” Someone calls from the distance. It makes Rafe drop her arm in an instant. Whoever just called for Rafe is now much more important than Kiara.</p>
<p>“See you around, Kiara.” Rafe smirks before making his way to the voice.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Stupid Kiara once again. She should have never come to this party, even if it was Sarah’s party. Tears flood her eyes just as her emotions feel all over the place. Emotions have been out of control ever since she came to Kook academy. Maybe this is the reason why. They don’t care about anything other than themselves.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>To avoid the tears, Kiara focuses on her beer downing it before making her way out of the party. She can only guess the rumours now. ‘Kiara Carrera- not only obsessed with Sarah but also Rafe. Wonder when her obsession is going to be on Ward and Rose.’ She storms through the room, trying her best to not be seen by anyone that may have an idea who she is. Kiara keeps her eyes to the floor as she heads to the front door. The sooner she is out of there, the better.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But before she can reach the door, she runs into a hard body who nearly knocks her over. The hard body turns, nearly falling himself. But he doesn’t. His hands find her waist to make sure that neither stumble to the hard floor in which would cause Kiara even more embarrassment. “Woah.” A soft breath releases from his mouth. That’s when embarrassment really fills Kiara. Because the body that she ran into is a familiar one. His voice is all too familiar that Kiara doesn’t even need to see his dirty blond hair to realise who it is.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She doesn’t look up. JJ would want to argue or something. She literally ditched the Pogues. She ditched them for the life that she thought she had wanted. A life she was forced into. Kiara just quickly shakes out of his hold and runs out of the house without lifting her head.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Once outside, Kiara can’t hold anything back anymore. She sobs and doesn’t fight back the flooding tears that create rivers down her cheeks. The tears are for the life that she left behind- the boys that she left behind. The tears are for her idiocy thinking that she could trust herself to make friends with someone like Sarah Cameron. But mostly, her tears are for herself. How she has lost herself through the Kooks. Lost the will to hold anything back. Lost the fight in herself when she knows she is being unfairly treated. Past Kiara would have snapped back at anyone that wanted to talk about the rumours. Past Kiara would have punched Rafe square in the face before making everyone very aware of who he really is. But she is not past Kiara anymore.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Past Kiara is gone.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>...</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The next morning, Kiara finds herself down at the beach to avoid the millions of questions from her mom. She hasn’t surfed since she left the Pogues behind. It’s another thing about them that she misses. So, it shocks Kiara to find herself looking out at the tall waves on the same beach that the Pogues used to surf every morning. But it feels like home- something in which Kiara is in dire need of finding.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Waves grow higher as if they are trying to tempt Kiara to join them. But she can’t. Kiara’s not even sure if she will remember how to surf. Instead, Kiara just sits down on the sand and watches as a family try to teach their young boy to surf.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kiara almost falls asleep just by the sound of the waves hitting the sand and the breeze rustling through the air. It’s sounds like these that Kiara misses. The sound of waves has been replaced by the sounds of beeping machines and gossiping throughout a busy, buzzing mall. The breeze has been replaced by the pinging of phones and the tapping of texts. Realism has been destroyed by artificial sounds that Kiara has become so accustomated to.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The beach is filled with the sound of laughter. The laughter of a family enjoying what they have, here in this very moment. Even that sound is different in Kiara’s concrete jungle of the Kook Academy. In the jungle, laughter is never through enjoyment but is always at the expense of another person- usually a Pogue. Kooks’ laughter is artificial, evoked through their wealth.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Kiara.” The voice breaks Kiara’s thoughts as she turns to the owner of the voice. There stood in front of Kiara is the Pogue that she ran into only a day ago. JJ. Sea water is glistening off of his body whilst he holds the surf board. Kiara can’t help but wonder if the other Pogues are here as well.</p>
<p>“Don’t worry, JJ. I’m leaving.” Kiara says before standing up.</p>
<p>“I don’t own the beach, Kiara.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, but I know it’s your place.” She knows everything about these boys. Kiara turns to leave but is stopped when he moves closer to her.</p>
<p>“What happened at Rafe’s last night?” Of course, he noticed it was her. Because just as Kiara knows him, JJ knows her better.</p>
<p>“Why were you even there?” Kiara avoids his question.</p>
<p>“Kook party- I crash.” JJ, literate as ever, replies. “Now, answer my question.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>His voice is soft, something that Kiara hasn’t heard for months. But she can’t forget them and how they finished things. “Why do you even care? It’s not like you’ve cared where I’ve been lately.”</p>
<p>“You were crying last night.”</p>
<p>“And it’s none of your business now, is it?” It’s harsh, but just like yesterday Kiara can’t control her emotions.</p>
<p>“Please remember that it was you that left us.” She watches as he rolls his eyes. “You decided to fucking cut us out of your life, Kiara.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p><em>Kiara </em>not <em>Kie.</em></p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>“I didn’t mean to cut you out of my life, JJ!” Kiara screeches, uncontrollably.</p>
<p>“But you still did.” He begins to shake his head just as frantically as the words coming out of Kiara’s mouth. “You wanted to live that Kook life by pretending like you were never a Pogue and then it blows up in your face.” Kiara just looks up at him in confusion. “Oh yeah, we hear about the rumours on the cut. Calling the cops on the Camerons.” She hates the rumours. “That’s the first time you do anything cool as a Kook.” But his words make her smile.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She is sure she sees JJ smile slightly as well, before his eyes quickly divert to the board in his hands. It’s the JJ she remembers. The JJ she misses. “So, what happened at the party?” JJ asks, calmer and deeper this time. It makes Kiara lose her smile entirely.</p>
<p>“I don’t want to talk about it. It’s nothing.” Kiara shakes her head, trying to remain as soft as he is being. “Just fucking rumours getting to me again.”</p>
<p>“They’re just rumours.” Even though, the calling the cop one definitely isn’t just a rumour.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A group of teenagers come running down the beach, breaking JJ and Kiara away from each other. It takes a moment before Kiara recognises them. Students of Kook Academy. It makes her panic. They can’t see her here. They’ll laugh at her or try and talk about her newest rumour of crashing Rafe Cameron’s party due to her obsession with them. “I get it. Can’t break your street cred, Kiara.” JJ keeps looking at the Kooks, figuring out what is going on in Kiara’s head.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She knows she should just run up the beach, before the Kooks turn to see her. But instead, she fixates on JJ. He is still stood with her when he should be yelling at her. She can’t run from him again. “Do you want to go somewhere?” Kiara eventually asks. Judging by the confusion on JJ’s face, she can tell her question came as a surprise. She is expecting him to turn her down as she is the girl that ditched him to play Kook. But shock overturns Kiara when he takes her hand in his and runs up the beach with Kiara in tow. They spend the rest of the day joking around and making up for lost time. It’s as if she never left.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>...</p>
<p> </p>
<p>For the next few weeks, Kiara spends her time sneaking around with JJ. Their secret friendship moves from watching movies at Kiara’s house whilst her parents are at work to them spending time at the Wreck together when she is working and her dad is not. It’s an unspoken agreement that neither of them tells anyone. The Pogues would go nuts if they found JJ and Kiara spending time together. So, they keep it to themselves. Their own little secret.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s the third week that they have kept their friendship secret when JJ takes Kiara surfing. The waves are not too high on this day and it soothes Kiara. She is sure she’s forgotten how to surf since she’s been at Kook Academy and the idea of facing big waves terrifies her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kiara is sat on the sand when JJ comes running at her, with two boards under his arms. “Time to surf Kiara Carrera.” His smile lights something in Kiara that she doesn’t understand.</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>“Kiara…”</p>
<p>“I can’t remember how to surf.”</p>
<p>“It’s like riding a bike.” JJ practically throws the board on top of her. “Unless, do you not know how to ride a bike either? Wow, you really are no Kook.” She knows he is only joking but she rolls her eyes as a reaction, hating hearing him associate her in any way with the Kooks. “Don’t worry, I can teach you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Before Kiara even has the chance to argue, JJ is pulling her to her feet and forcing her closer to the water. Kiara feels a rush of embarrassment hit her when she looks around and sees kids only about eight looking at her before running into the water to catch the wave. If three eight year olds can surf, surely Kiara can re-learn how to do it. Because, just as JJ said, it's just like riding a bike. "Stop being a baby, Kiara. Get in the fucking water." Kiara doesn't even realise she is frozen until JJ pulls her closer to him, into the water. "Just get on the board." He jokes as he holds the board steady.</p>
<p>"JJ..."</p>
<p>"I'm your teacher today. Call me Sir." </p>
<p>"I'm not calling you Sir, JJ." Kiara shakes her head, knowing he is only joking. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He stands, holding the board steady as Kiara takes a deep breath before pulling herself up to sit on the board. It really has been a long time as when Kiara gets onto the board, she slips and is thankful that JJ is there to catch her from falling flat into the water. She goes again, climbing onto the board that is being held steady by JJ. "Just think back to before you went away." It hurts her just to hear those words. Went away. Did she really leave them? She hadn't meant to leave them. But the longer she hung out with Sarah, the less she visited the Pogues. She wonders if she would have ever visited them if Sarah hadn't thrown her away. Just looking at JJ makes her feel like shit. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Everyone thinks that he is the stereotypical boy from the cut. JJ must be the boy that gets into trouble at any moment of the day before being caught by the Sherriff. Everyone thinks that he's the worst thing that has ever happened to Outer Banks. He's the scum of Outer Banks.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>How did Kiara leave him? His name always comes up at Kook Academy whether it is girls bragging that they had fun with the scum one night or if it is the Kook boys bragging that they laid a nice bruise on JJ's jaw. And Kiara has never said anything. She has never stood up for the boy that has always stood up for her. JJ is nothing like his stereotype. The boy that is stood in front of her right now is so full of hope and wonder as he makes sure that she is safe on the surfboard. JJ only ever gets into trouble to save his friends. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>"Are you falling in love with me there, Carrera?" Kiara is brought back to the moment by the idiotic joke from JJ. Of course, when she is thinking so highly of him he finds a joke to clear the seriousness in the air. Kiara does quickly look away though, feeling her cheeks warm up from just his words. </p>
<p>"You would like that, wouldn't you Maybank?" </p>
<p>"Only if it's you." She doesn't know if it's a joke or not, but a smile is still planted on his face as he holds her board close to him. She knows JJ is a big flirt from the amount of parties at the boneyard that ended early with JJ finding a room with a Touron. Before she left them, there was flirting between JJ and herself. Innocent flirting. Another thing that she missed from the Pogues. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He teaches her for what feels like hours. Just back and forth with Kiara body boarding the waves. At one point, JJ takes a wave without her. She just watches him as he looks like he is at home. JJ is the best surfer that she has ever met- not that she would ever tell him that. But whilst she watches him this time, Kiara is entranced at just how happy he looks. JJ has never needed anything from anyone. The waves are the home that brings the happiness to his face. It's all he will ever want from life- happiness. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It's the happiness that Kiara can't hurt. Not again. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>She knows she hurt the Pogues. All three of the boys scoff whenever they see Kiara. And she always knows that whilst the Pogues ignore her, it's only because of the pain that she brought to them. The girl Pogue walks away from the boys, with no explanation and then all of a sudden she is a Kook. JJ is known to be the Pogue that hates the Kooks the most. A tear appears in Kiara's eye before she can even think about it. Because JJ, the most Poguiest of Pogues, was there for Kiara when no one else could be. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>When JJ reaches Kiara, Kiara blurts out "Do you guys hate me?" She hates herself that she left them. It would be no surprise if they did hate her.</p>
<p>"Kie..."</p>
<p>"I left you guys. I just left and didn't say anything." Kiara continues, hyperventilating so much that she doesn't hear JJ call her 'Kie'. "I... I shouldn't have left you. I shouldn't have left the Pogues without even saying goodbye."</p>
<p>"Kie!" JJ eventually shakes her. It works as Kiara stands still. "I could never hate you." His words soothe Kiara but his delicate touch make her sink into him. Because he is here. He doesn't hate her. Without even thinking, Kiara leans so much into his touch that they become so close that she can feel her heart rate increase as his warm breath pushes against her face.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Their eyes lock as if they are testing the new boundaries in their friendship. His hands move from her side to move to her cheek where he pushes away a distracted tear. She doesn't know what to do. Her emotions are still all over the place. Kiara's breaths become short as she is sure she notices JJ glance down to her lips. When she thinks he is about to close the gap, Kiara finds herself shocked when JJ starts to move away. Disappointment confusedly fills Kiara as she watches JJ shifting away from her. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Her emotions must get the better of Kiara though as she closes the gap that JJ created. She worries that he will push her away, but he doesn't. JJ just keeps his eyes on Kiara. "Kie, what are we doing?" JJ breathes out, the gap between them so small once more.</p>
<p>"I don't know." Kiara breathes out, mirroring his confusion. </p>
<p>"Neither." JJ whispers before leaning and closing the gap altogether. His hands tangle in her hair as Kiara leans into him, kissing him back with the same intensity. She doesn't know what she's doing. This is JJ. Her best friend. Her <em>secret </em>best friend. But she can't control it. It's as if two magnets are being drawn to one another and for the first time, their attraction is perfect. Kiara moves her hands up to his naked torso, forgetting about the awkwardness and focusing on the now especially as she feels JJ's tongue tease her lips, asking for an opening. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>There is no gap between the two friends as JJ begins to deepen the kiss. Kiara keeps melting further into JJ's touch. It's not like she has never thought about it. His touch. Rumours circulate JJ about how good he is at practically everything. And they're true. JJ kisses just like he surfs. Kiara can't help but wonder if anyone could ever kiss better. It's then though that Kiara worries about how this would effect everything. The Pogues. The Kooks. Everything. So, Kiara pushes back before letting herself sink deeper. They are out of breath when they release, with JJ looking red with confusion. "Shit. I'm sorry." Is all that JJ says.</p>
<p>"It's okay." Kiara awkwardly lets out, trying to avoid JJ's eyes. Kiara shuffles almost like she doesn't know what to do next. She ignores the pull that is telling her to close that distance again and the warmth that is JJ. The thought of the kiss makes her weak that she automatically cringes. JJ is her best friend again. A best friend that she can't lose again. "I should... go." Kiara awkwardly clears her throat before heading back to the beach.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She doesn't turn back to JJ. She can't be drawn back in without feeling the danger of what all of this means. It's better to ignore all of her thoughts than to risk being alone all over again. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>...</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kiara can't sleep that night. It's the thought of JJ that plays on her mind every time she tries to shut her eyes. His words 'call me Sir' tease her as if JJ is in the room with Kiara. Kiara can feel her skin tingle just from the memory of how JJ has kept Kiara from falling twice now- at the party and in the sea. Her skin tingles where his hands made contact to brush away her fallen tear. Everything about JJ is delicate and fragile, something that Kiara is only the Kook to see. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Fear washes over Kiara's attempts to sleep. Fear that she has screwed over the one person that is keeping her sane washes over her face. Sure, JJ kissed her. But Kiara wanted it to happen. And then she pushed him away with her emotions taking over, all over the place. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>When Kiara finally feels sleep brushing over her, she is jolted up to a seated position when she hears a knock on her window. She wonders if she has imagined it when Kiara waits a few beats to see if there is another knock. No knocks come so Kiara lays her head back down. When Kiara goes to close her eyes again, she is once again forced to sit up as another knock comes from her window. This time, Kiara doesn't question it as she makes her way to the window. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Outside her window is a large tree that envelopes the garden below the window. It takes Kiara a moment to spot him in the tree. JJ is sat, looking down from the tree. The normal glee on JJ's face is absent as Kiara motions him to move inside. JJ keeps avoiding her eye contact as he makes his way into her bedroom where Kiara doesn't know what to do. Her parents are home and would kill Kiara if they found out that JJ is here. But as JJ keeps shuffling, Kiara loses the worry for her parents as she sees the broken boy stood in front of her. "JJ? What's going on?"</p>
<p>"Um..." JJ looks around the room before sitting down on the bed, trying to look inconspicuous. But it doesn't work as Kiara watches JJ wince in pain. </p>
<p>"JJ." She is quick to move closer to JJ to assess his injuries. There are no bruises on his face. No bruises on his arms. No bruises anywhere that Kiara can see. "What hurts?"</p>
<p>"Nothing." JJ tries to play off which only makes Kiara roll her eyes. He could never lie to her. Kiara is quick to fiddle with the material of his t-shirt. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>They push and pull at each other until Kiara finally wins out and grabs the hem to pull it up his torso. Shock fills Kiara as she is left speechless from what she sees. His torso is scattered with bruises as a sharp cut runs down his side. The blood has dried up around the cut but looks painful nevertheless. "You need to go to the hospital." Kiara doesn't tear her eyes away from the cut.</p>
<p>"No."</p>
<p>"No?"</p>
<p>"I can't go to the hospital, Kie." He almost yells but cringes at the understanding that her parents are home.</p>
<p>"You may have a broken rib, JJ." </p>
<p>"It's nothing, okay?" JJ whispers out. "I haven't broken a rib."</p>
<p>"How do you know?" He doesn't reply. Kiara knows he has been in multiple fights with Kooks before. Maybe one fight has lead to a broken rib. "Then why are you here, JJ?"</p>
<p>"I didn't want to go home." His words almost come out as a cry. Kiara can only wonder why. She knows that if she had ever come home looking as injured as JJ is, her parents would be mad and demanding of what happened. Maybe JJ's dad is the same. "And I didn't have anywhere else to go." Whilst Kiara knows she needs JJ right now, it's nice to know that the feeling is reciprocated.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>She doesn't ask what happened to JJ whilst she is cleaning up his bruises. She knows that he will just brush it off or argue with her until she eventually drops it. Kiara guesses it has something to do with a Kook or Barry. She doesn't even ask him what happened when he begins to set a bed on the floor, before Kiara forces him onto the bed. Because, they're best friends and they can share a bed without it meaning anything. But it does mean something. Because Kiara can't think about anything other than the fact that they kissed and Kiara pushed him away, but he still finds Kiara in his time of need. She even lets her head rest against his chest whilst listening to his heart beating. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>...</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It becomes a common between JJ and Kiara. They keep their friendship secret whilst they keep moving with their activities. Surfing, watching movies and eating. JJ even showed Kiara that she can still stand up on the surfboard when catching a wave. The other common between the two of them is when JJ shows up at her window in the middle of the night. Sometimes bruised. And Kiara doesn't ask questions, knowing that JJ doesn't want to talk about it. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kiara is at a party at the boneyard when things change.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It's a normal night filled with the fake laughter of the Kooks as well as the muttering of gossiping teenagers that can't go one moment without making up a rumour. Kiara only goes to this party because of her mother who is dead certain that going to the party will make Sarah her friend again. Anna thinks that if Kiara and Sarah are friends once more, everything about her daughter will make sense once more. Kiara knows this isn't the case. Because why would Kiara want to be friends with a gossiping snake that is only out to make herself happy? </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The party is in full swing and Kiara won't lie, she is feeling the effect of the alcohol. It's only because she overheard her name being said by Sarah and her newly made friend Topper. Kiara has always been good at partying by herself. It's something in the music that Kiara can get lost in. Nothing matters when the music is playing and Kiara is swaying, forgetting about life itself. That is until she is cornered by the Cameron that makes her want to run. Rafe. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It all feels too familiar to the party from a few months ago where Rafe wouldn't let go of her arm. As soon as his eyes meet hers, she tries to make her way up the beach away from the party itself. Rafe follows her as Kiara fears the worst. Rumours are just words until those words become actions. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kiara's heart beats fast as she keeps making her way into a quiet area of the beach. She can hear his laughter coming from behind her, but Kiara is too afraid to look around. Feet move quickly in the sand that is slowing her down but Kiara can't stop. The buzz from the alcohol is highlighting how her fears may become a reality. She almost tears up as she can hear his footsteps speeding up behind her, but her tears remain still when her eyes catch the boy that is always there. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Without even thinking, Kiara crashes into JJ's body. JJ is quick to catch her and hug her tight to him. She buries her face as if her prayers have just been answered. JJ is always there. "Go running back to your Pogues, Kiara." She hears Rafe spit behind her. Kiara wants to ignore it, but finds it hard when JJ brushes Kiara away and storms to the arrogant Rafe.</p>
<p>"Stay away from her!" JJ speaks with such anger at the laughing Rafe. "Don't you ever fucking touch her!" JJ grabs a hold of Rafe, going to punch him.</p>
<p>"JJ!" Kiara shouts after him. He stops immediately, dropping Rafe quickly.</p>
<p>"Nice seeing you again, JJ." Rafe smirks before strolling back to the party.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They walk back to Kiara's house in silence. JJ has his hands in his pockets as his eyes fixate on the ground. Kiara glances anywhere but JJ, feeling herself coming down from her drunk high. They make their way quietly into the house after Kiara notices that her parents must already be asleep. She knows the silence will break eventually. And then it does. "I'm sorry, Kie."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kiara wants to say that she doesn't need his back or she wants to yell at him for almost getting into yet another fight. But her movements are lead by her emotions once more. Because instead of yelling at the boy stood in the middle of her bedroom, she moves to grab at JJ and pull him into a searing kiss. It takes a while to feel JJ kiss her back; but as Kiara goes to move back, JJ pulls her closer and kisses her back with such intensity. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Those magnets are back but enforced with even more of a pull, with even more need. When they finally pull apart, their foreheads remain pressed together and bodies remain close. "Thank you." Kiara manages to breathe out after her breathing returns to almost normal. But her breathing doesn't stay normal for long as JJ darkened eyes look into hers before silently asking permission to kiss again. Kiara subtle nod is half completed before JJ's lips return to hers. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Two bodies come together as the awkwardness from the first kiss does not tease Kiara this time. Kiara makes the first move to deepen the kiss as they move closer to the bed. It's electric between JJ and Kiara when JJ silently asks if he can take things further. Yet again, Kiara agrees. They move together as the bodies eventually jump onto the bed with JJ bracing himself above Kiara to not hurt her. He doesn't hurt her. Their hearts beat as one as they make that step over the small line between friendship and something else but in this moment, Kiara cannot think about what that something else is. She remains in the moment with JJ. She remains in the moment when clothes are ripped off. She remains in the moment when Kiara silently urges JJ to move on. And they don't stop as they come together to tease their secrets again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Kiara remains in his embrace afterwards. Her head resting on JJ's chest and a smile plastered on her face that she cannot shake away. "Was it Rafe at his party?" JJ breaks the silence.</p>
<p>"Yeah." Kiara manages to let out. </p>
<p>"I should have hit him harder." All Kiara can do is laugh and lean to close the gap all over again. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>...</p>
<p> </p>
<p>If someone told Kiara that she would have a secret relationship with her secret best friend, she would think they were lying. But here she is. It has been one month since something with JJ, and they continue it whenever possible. They spend their time finding ways to sneak to each other without raising suspicion of the Pogues or the Kooks. They spend time at the quiet parts of the beach or at late nights at the Carrera residence, making sure that they left before anyone else could see them. It hasn't been easy, especially when John B's dad starts disappearing for months at a time and needs JJ's support 24/7. Kiara always wonders if she could ever find a way back into their friendship. JJ seems to think she could but Kiara remains fearful that her being there would be too much for John B and Pope. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It makes Kiara laugh when she hears new rumours about JJ. Apparently JJ has been sleeping with the Kook parents to make money for his dad. Kiara knows it's not true. The only person JJ has been sleeping with is Kiara. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It continues whenever they are together. A single touch spurs the moment as JJ crashes into Kiara and the same conversation spirals. "We can't tell them." Kiara says, frantically removing JJ's t-shirt.</p>
<p>"Oh, I'm not telling them." JJ laughs, helping her with the shirt.</p>
<p>"Good."</p>
<p>"I like being your secret Kie." JJ jokes before pulling in for another kiss that takes control of Kiara. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Coming together becomes risky between JJ and Kiara as their touches become more of a game to see who will break and make the first move. They have almost been caught three times now. Once when they are at the beach in the middle of the night and a group of Kooks come running down the beach before diving into the water. The second time, Kiara blames JJ's non-existent ability to keep his mouth to himself when they are watching a film in Kiara's living area. Her parents walk into the room just after JJ finds the ability to dive under the couch to make sure he is not seen. For the third time, it's practically Kiara's fault. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The third time in where they almost get caught is because Kiara makes a move on JJ in the boneyard and quickly realises that they won't be able to make it all the way back to her house. So, Kiara suggests the chateau. Luckily when they get there, John B and Big John are nowhere to be seen. It doesn't take long for them to be stripping each other in the shower to get off on each other. JJ holds Kiara up against the side "The water is... fucking freezing." Kiara manages to say in between kisses.</p>
<p>"Well, it's always hot. And the cut isn't made of money." JJ kisses her deeply before turning away from her completely. "Actually, we don't need hot water like you stuck up Kooks."</p>
<p>"Just shut up, JJ."</p>
<p>"Yes mam." It isn't until they hear a knock on the bathroom door that they freeze entirely. "Taking a shower, dude." JJ shouts out to whoever is knocking.</p>
<p>"Stop hogging the water, JJ." They hear John B shout back at them before they hear him move away. They wait a few beats before look back at each other, JJ still holding her up. </p>
<p>"That was too close, JJ." </p>
<p>"Do you want me to stop?" A smirk appears on JJ's lips that Kiara wants to hit away. Or kiss away.</p>
<p>"No." Kiara almost moans out when JJ slightly shifts. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>It's not just sex between Kiara and JJ though. Every time they hang out, they often hold hands and pass each other small innocent kisses to just lighten any mood. It's as if they act as a couple. And that scares Kiara. The more she hangs out with JJ, the deeper she feels herself fall that she feels bad for keeping the secret from the world. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>At the end of the school year, Kiara and JJ are practically inseparable- even if they are still secret. Kiara hangs out with JJ almost every day and JJ often hangs out with Kiara when he should be with the Pogues. Because they have each other and that is all that matters. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>...</p>
<p> </p>
<p>But all good things must come to an end. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The first week of summer, everything falls apart. Kiara and JJ are asleep in Kiara's bed when JJ's phone lights up the room. It wakes them both up immediately as they have always been light sleepers. When JJ reads the message, Kiara knows that something must be up. She waits a while before asking "Who texted you?"</p>
<p>"Big John is missing at sea." JJ squeaks out. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Big John has been a dad to all the Pogues when they need someone to not judge them. Kiara remembers having to go to him when she found out that she was being forced into Kook Academy. He told her everything is going to be alright. But for JJ, Big John pretty much is his dad. JJ spends most of his time at the chateau with John B and Big John, avoiding probable arguments with his own dad. Kiara doesn't know why JJ prefers Big John, but she can see on his face that this news is as if he has lost his own father to the storm. It doesn't surprise Kiara that JJ runs out of her house, probably going to make sure that John B is safe. His brother is safe.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A week after the new spread, Kiara packs up her nerves to return to the Pogues. Pope hugs her tightly, as if she never has done anything bad in her life. John B lets a small, pained smile fill his face before pulling Kiara to him "Thanks for coming back to us, Kie." John B painfully says. She has to pretend that this is the first time she has seen JJ and something deep fills her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Guilt.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They are keeping a massive secret from the rest of the Pogues by going behind the rule that makes the group concrete. And Kiara doesn't know what to do. The Pogues need each other in every way possible but she can't get JJ out of her mind. What she and JJ have been doing. Kiara thinks about just blurting it out, pulling it off like a band aid. But then she sees JJ. JJ comforts John B and Pope as if he is the most secure Pogue in the room. She can't break this up.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A couple hours go by before Kiara and JJ are alone. Kiara comes out and says "We're stupid, JJ." He looks at her completely confused. "We broke so many of the rules, JJ. It will break John B if he found out that we've been messing around."</p>
<p>"Okay." JJ speaks in a non-believable way.</p>
<p>"No Pogue on Pogue Macking, you know?" Kiara takes a deep breath before continuing. "We need to stick to those rules before we break the group."</p>
<p>"No Pogue on Pogue Macking, got it."</p>
<p>"It's for the group."</p>
<p>"It's fine, Kie. It was just sex anyway. Nothing to get too caught up in." JJ avoids her eyes. "Nothing to make the group confusing."</p>
<p>"Yeah. It's a good thing feelings didn't get involved."</p>
<p>"Exactly." Kiara wants to grab ahold of his hand, but fears it won't help anything. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>The rules are important in keeping the group together.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The rules are all that matters.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>So, they go on with their lives as Kiara is reintroduced to the Pogues. They laugh and cry together as they relive Big John. John B thinks he's still alive, but as the months go by Kiara can't help but doubt it. JJ and Kiara eventually go back to joking and innocently flirting with one another, without ever bringing up her Kook year. It becomes a rule to not bring up her Kook year. It's a way to avoid that conversation about what happened between JJ and Kiara. Sure, she wonders if it will happen again but the rules have to keep the group together. And she won't walk away from them again. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>They're friends again and that is all that matters. </p>
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